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Other dating experts have pointed to such stereotypes and lack of multiracial representation in the media as part of the likely reason that plenty of online daters have had discouraging experiences based on their race.
Melissa Hobley, Ok Cupid's chief marketing officer, says the site has learned from social scientists about other reasons that people's dating preferences come off as racist, including the fact that they often reflect IRL — in real life — norms.
Rudder wrote that user data showed that most men on the site rated black women as less attractive than women of other races and ethnicities.
Similarly, Asian men fell at the bottom of the preference list for most women. "It was like an unfulfilled validation, if that makes sense.
While the data focused on straight users, Jason says he could relate. Like, yeah, I was right, but it feels s***** that I was right." "Least desirable" The 2014 Ok Cupid data resonated so much with 28-year-old Ari Curtis that she used it as the basis of her blog, Least Desirable, about dating as a black woman.
"My goal," she wrote, "is to share stories of what it means to be a minority not in the abstract, but in the awkward, exhilarating, exhausting, devastating and occasionally amusing reality that is the pursuit of love." Curtis works in marketing in New York City and says that although she loves how open-minded most people in the city are, she didn't always find that quality in dates she started meeting online.
"He was like, 'Oh, so we have to bring the 'hood out of you, bring the ghetto out of you! "It made me feel like I wasn't enough, who I am wasn't what he expected, and that he wanted me to be somebody else based on my race." Why might our dating preferences feel racist to others?"[When it comes to attraction,] familiarity is a really big piece," Hobley says.